Your questions answered

Starting counselling can bring up many questions, and it's completely normal to feel a little unsure. Here, we've gathered answers to some of the most common queries to help you feel more comfortable and informed. If you can't find what you're looking for, please don't hesitate to reach out to us directly.

Common questions about counselling

I understand that taking the first step towards counselling can feel significant. My goal is to make your journey as smooth and comfortable as possible. Below, you'll find answers to frequently asked questions, designed to provide clarity and reassurance about what to expect when you choose Brenda Nortje Counselling.

What is counselling and when should I seek it?

 

Counselling is a safe, confidential space where you can explore your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours with a trained professional. People seek counselling for a wide range of reasons, including managing anxiety and stress, navigating relationship challenges, coping with grief, or simply seeking personal growth. There's no "right" time to start; if you feel overwhelmed, stuck, or want to make changes in your life, counselling can provide valuable support.

What if I don't know what to say?
It's completely normal not to know exactly where to start. Our first session is an opportunity for us to meet, get to know each other, and gently explore what has brought you to counselling. You don't need to prepare anything or have all the answers; we'll figure it out together at a pace that feels comfortable for you.

Can I bring a support person or family member?

Individual sessions are typically just for you to ensure a confidential and focused environment, however, if you are 100% comfortable with another person in the space, that is perfectly ok. If you choose, your support person may wait for you in the waiting area to support you after your session. If you have specific concerns about bringing a support person, please discuss this with me prior to your session.

How many sessions will I need?
The number of sessions needed varies greatly depending on your individual goals and what you wish to work on. Some people find a few sessions helpful for a specific issue, while others prefer longer-term support for deeper exploration. We'll regularly review your progress and discuss what feels right for you.

What happens in the first session?

The first session is a chance for us to connect. We'll discuss what you hope to gain from counselling, and I will explain the process, confidentiality, and answer any questions you might have. It's a low-pressure opportunity for both of us to decide if we're a good fit to work together.

What can I talk about in counselling?
You can talk about anything that is on your mind. This could include difficult emotions, past experiences, current challenges, relationship dynamics, work stress, life transitions, or aspirations for the future. This is your space, and you are in control of what you share.

What if I don't click with my counsellor?

Building a trusting relationship with your counsellor is key. If, for any reason, you don't feel a connection with me, it's important to discuss this. We can explore what isn't working and, if needed, I can help you find another counsellor who might be a better fit.

What is this "confidentiality" thing?

Confidentiality is a cornerstone of counselling. What you share in sessions is kept private and will not be disclosed to others without your explicit consent, except in very specific circumstances where there is a serious risk of harm to yourself or others, or if legally required. I will explain these limits clearly during your first session.

Dispelling common myths

Counselling is often misunderstood, and many people hold beliefs that can prevent them from seeking the support they need. Here, we address some common misconceptions to help you understand what counselling truly is and how it can benefit you.

“I need to have a serious problem to come to counselling.”
Not at all. You don’t need to be in crisis or have a diagnosis. Sometimes you simply feel stuck, overwhelmed, disconnected, or unsure about what comes next. Counselling can give you space to work through those things before they become bigger.

“The counsellor will tell me what to do.”

Counselling isn’t about being given a list of instructions. I will not tell you how you should live your life. Instead, we’ll explore what’s happening together and help you find what feels right for you, empowering you to make your own decisions.

“I’ll have to talk about things I’m not ready to talk about.”
You are always in control of what you share. There’s no need to tell your whole story in the first session — or ever. We go at a pace that feels safe and comfortable for you, ensuring you only discuss what you are ready for.

“Counselling is just talking.”

Talking is an important part of counselling, but it can be much more than that. Depending on what you need, we might explore patterns, emotions, and relationships, develop practical strategies, or engage in therapeutic techniques like those from ACT, CBT, or narrative therapy. Sometimes we may use a sandtray or paper and pens.  It's an active and collaborative process.

Good to know before you start

To help you feel fully prepared and at ease, here is some additional information that clients often find helpful to know upfront.

You don’t have to prepare anything.
You’re welcome to come to your first session exactly as you are. You don’t need to organise your thoughts or know what you want to talk about beforehand. Just show up, and we'll take it from there.

Your privacy matters.

What you share in counselling is treated with the utmost respect and confidentiality, within the usual professional and legal limits. I will explain these limits clearly when we begin, so you know exactly what to expect and can feel safe sharing openly.

Counselling is a collaborative process.

This is your space. You can tell me if something doesn’t feel helpful, if you’d like to try something different, or if you need to slow things down. Your feedback is always welcome and valued, ensuring the process is tailored to you.

Progress doesn’t always look the way you expect.
Some sessions may feel productive and others may feel difficult, especially when we’re exploring things that have been painful or avoided for a long time. We’ll take things at a pace that feels manageable for you, celebrating all forms of progress.

Ready to take the next step?

We hope this page has answered some of your questions and helped you feel more comfortable. If you're ready to begin your counselling journey or have more questions, we're here to help.